Pigeons in aerial protest at End Town Hall

Agincourt square was yesterday abuzz with murmurs and whispers and the confusion of a thousand conversations as the residents of End tried to make sense of the strange happenings outside the Town Hall.

‘All I can say is something is up. Birds just know,’ commented Hazel Plank as she dashed through Agincourt Square trying to avoid being dive-bombed by the thousands* of rabid** pigeons.

When I visited on behalf of The End TImes, everyone was looking up at the peculiar behaviour of the pigeons – they had been swooping at the councillors as they walked in, and some had even reported hearing an indistinguishable sound, almost as if the birds were calling out.

‘How are they able to pick out the councillors amongst the rest of us?’ asked a passer-by. ‘It seems to be some sort of judgement on them and their evil ways, probably to do with the parking meters on Rochford Road.’

It certainly was a strange sight, and one that brought feelings of fear and danger to those who had witnessed it. The rumours flew – were the pigeons trying to send a message? If so, what was it? What did they want from the councillors?

The councillors themselves seemed dumbfounded and perplexed – not a single one of them had an answer for the strange behaviour of the birds.

‘We just don’t know,’ the Mayor told The End Times, but we assume it is their way of heaping praise on the councillors for all the good work they do in End and surrounding districts. Vote for me and make End an even happier place.’

When I left the Square the pigeons had dwindled to little over a hundred, and seemed to have foresaken divebombing politicians for strutting and pecking at the ground.

*We have been asked to point out that thousands is an exaggeration and are happy to make this correction.

**We have been asked to state on the record that we have no idea if the pigeons were technically rabid, and we are happy so todo. They certainly looked rabid to this reporter.

Jabari Abebe

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