Local news from End since 1065
In an astonishing turn of events that has left both residents and experts scratching their heads, a local farmer in Harewood’s End has successfully grown a bumper crop of square watermelons. The discovery has sparked both amusement and confusion in equal measure, as the normally oval-shaped fruit now lines the farmer’s fields in neat rows…
A tail-wagging four-legged detective has joined the End police force and is proving that the long arm of the paw is just as effective as the long arm of the law! Move over, human officers! There’s a new sheriff in End, and this one has fur, floppy ears, and a bone to pick with criminals….
Agincourt square was yesterday abuzz with murmurs and whispers and the confusion of a thousand conversations as the residents of End tried to make sense of the strange happenings outside the Town Hall. ‘All I can say is something is up. Birds just know,’ commented Hazel Plank as she dashed through Agincourt Square trying to…
By Rev’d S.W. Ceylon-Browne The answer is yes. There is nothing invented by humans that comes even close to the joys of test match cricket. Ah, Test cricket, the sport that makes even the longest movies feel like a quick YouTube video. Some may argue that it’s slow-paced and lacks the excitement of other sports,…
Many thanks to all the readers who have contacted us to convey their disgust at the cropping of the image that accompanied our Statue Competition article. We would like to assure you that this was automatic and not planned and we apologise for any offence caused. In particular, Mr D of Parkly Lane, if you…
Welcome to The End Times and thank you for visiting. We have been reporting on the goings-on in End – a town in England that has more than its fair share of goings-on – since 1065. Before that we ran the local carrier-pigeon news service and it was very exciting when a local archeology team…
In association with Rippon Builders and Undertakers we are pleased to announce the start of a competition to add to Agincourt Square a statue of a famous resident of End. All readers are asked to send in suggestions of whom they would like to be cast in bronze and erected for the rest of time….