Motorists in End are being asked to keep their tempers—and their horns—in check, after the council voted to introduce Britain’s first-ever Polite Honking Zone in the town centre.
From next Monday, drivers will be limited to three short, friendly beeps per incident, accompanied, where possible, by a smile or a wave. Any extended or aggressive honking could result in a £50 fine, enforceable by traffic wardens equipped with decibel meters.
“We’re not saying people can’t use their horns,” explained Councillor Fiona Webb, who chaired the committee. “We’re just encouraging them to use them in a more civilised, End-like manner. Instead of ‘BEEEEEEP!’, we’d prefer a gentle ‘beep-beep’, almost like a cheery hello.”
The decision follows a series of complaints from residents about “unpleasant honking noise” disturbing shoppers on High Street. One pensioner, Doris Mudge, told The End Times:
“I was halfway through choosing my bananas in the greengrocer when someone blasted their horn. I jumped so much I bruised three melons. This new system will save fruit and nerves alike.”
Not everyone is convinced, however. Taxi driver Gary Holt said the scheme was “completely daft.”
“Sometimes you need a good, long honk to let people know they’ve pulled out in front of you,” he said. “A polite beep just won’t cut it. People will think I’m flirting.”
In an attempt to make the system clearer, the council has released a guidance leaflet entitled The Language of Honks. Examples include:
• One quick, light honk = “Excuse me, the light’s green.”
• Two quick honks = “Thank you kindly, good driver.”
• Two short honks and one longer honk in quick succession = “There appears to be a hedgehog on the road.”
The scheme will run as a six-month pilot. If successful, End could see the introduction of other “politeness zones,” including a Polite Queueing Lane at the Post Office and a Respectful Barking Hour for dogs in End Park.
As Councillor Webb concluded: “End is a town built on courtesy. If we can’t lead the world in polite honking, who will?”
